It sound Crazy na…?
Yes it is….In a world obsessed with the pursuit of happiness, the idea of not trying to be happy sounds counterintuitive, even heretical. You must be thinking that I’m stupid and talking complete nonsense, because everywhere you go, every book you read, every lecture you attend, everything you do, the ultimate goal of every act is Happiness. But, have you ever thought that this relentless pursuit of happiness is actually making us miserable? You are all the time thinking how to I become happy?, What if, Instead of constructing happiness, we focus on living a meaningful life? Lets discuss about it:
The Paradox Of Happiness
The happiness paradox is a well-documented phenomenon in psychology. The more strived we feel for happiness, the more elusive it becomes. Last week I was reading a a study published in the journal Emotion and found that people who place a high value on happiness are more likely to feel lonely and less satisfied with their lives. Why? Because the pressure to be happy creates unrealistic expectations, leading to a sense of failure when those expectations aren’t met.
Everywhere we go, we find people portraying happiness as a constant state of joy, success, and perfection. But it creates a distorted view of reality, making us feel inadequate when our lives don’t measure up. The truth is, happiness is not a permanent state—it’s a fleeting emotion that comes and goes. Trying to hold onto it, leave us feeling empty and unfulfilled only.
The Problem with the “Happiness Industry”
Through books, Youtube Videos, Mindfulness Apps, Life Coaching Programs, People trying to sell Happiness, they are trying to make you sure that Happiness is something we can achieve if we just try hard enough. and this creates a cycle of dependency, where we’re constantly searching for the next “fix button” to make us happy. And by selling this perpetuate myth they’re earning billions.
The problem with this approach is that it overlooks the complexity of our human emotions. Life is full of ups and downs, and trying to avoid negative emotions, a hurriedness to fix everything which is making us miserable, actually make us worse. We feel more unhappy and unsatisfied because we have been convinced to be happy. But suppressing emotions mostly like sadness, anger, or anxiety lead to increased stress and mental health issues. Instead of chasing happiness, we should focus on accepting and processing all our emotions, both positive and negative.
“Strong People Hold Nothing Too Tight… They let it be happen whatever happens.“
Read the above line twice and memories it, it is going to help you in long way of life.
Meaning vs. Happiness
Both are related to well-being, they are driven by different goals, behaviors, and psychological outcomes. Happiness is primarily associated with positive emotions, life satisfaction, and the avoidance of discomfort while Meaning is deeper and more enduring than happiness. It involves feeling that your life has significance, direction, and coherence. People with meaning are driven by purpose, even when it involves sacrifice or hardship. But it is also true that happiness and meaning can coexist. Many studies show that People who lead meaningful lives frequently experience high levels of happiness as a byproduct. However, the reverse isn’t always true—being happy doesn’t guarantee a meaningful life.
Why “Don’t Try to Be Happy” Is Great Advice
The idea of not trying to be happy might sound radical, but psychological research and philosophical teachings suggest that the relentless pursuit of happiness often leads to disappointment and stress. I’m not advising about rejecting happiness, I’m advising you about shifting your focus to something more sustainable, like meaning, connection, and presence.
By shifting our focus from happiness to meaning, we can build a life that feels rich and fulfilling, even in the face of challenges. Happiness becomes a natural byproduct of living authentically and purposefully, rather than an elusive goal we’re constantly chasing.
I’m not saying that The pursuit of happiness is inherently wrong, but it’s often misguided. Instead of trying to be happy, focus on living a meaningful life and let the Happiness Find You.
So, the next time you feel the pressure to “be happy,” remember this: Don’t try to be happy. Focus on living a life that matters.
Thank You
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